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My female friends said the trip would make or break the relationship. My guy friends said I was bringing sand to the beach. Karen’s friends said she was crazy to travel to another continent with a guy who wouldn’t even leave a contacts case at her apartment. As excited as I was while packing, a little part of me wondered if I was courting disaster and should be traveling solo like I had talked about so often in my twenties.
So Karen and I landed in Thailand with a strict itinerary that included scuba diving, seeing a shitload of temples, and returning to Los Angeles not hating each other’s guts. And to our surprise, we traveled along with no major emotional blow-ups or vacation horror stories. I felt a smug satisfaction as we approached the last day of our trip in Bangkok.
The plan was to blow the last of our baht on knockoff jeans and an upscale curry dinner, then get a good night’s rest before our morning flight. But that afternoon, I flipped through my travel journal without finding any seeds for a novel. I clicked through my digital camera and found only the photos I imagine a million couples take each year on the same travel route, more family-album than Vice Guide to Travel — nothing in there to elicit awed, envious comments on Facebook.
I’d shot my vacation wad with this trek and we’d had an experience not so different from one my parents would have. The first vacation of my thirties, and all that was missing was the fannypacks.
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‘How Tinder took me from serial monogamy to casual sex’
Sally is no longer on Tinder, having met a man four months ago. I was a serial monogamist, moving from one long-term relationship to the next. I had friends who’d indulged in one-night stands and was probably guilty of judging them a little, of slut-shaming.
The hookup was quite successful, but so was the date where we went to the cinema and sushi train. Had a cuddle on the train home where we had the carriage to ourselves. We really had a lot in common after chatting for a month on tinder. The Hookup with the other guy was simply meeting some dude visiting in a hotel, yeah yeah typical fuck, hes since hasnt been on Grindr. The point of this post is NOT to brag but rather bring up an interesting point.
After having had a date, with actual intimacy and connection, I feel really shitty about myself for having that hookup when only last night, it felt gratifying. I feel disgusted, like i dirtily let myself just be used, and all that intimacy was fake.
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